Monday, December 17, 2018

Love or Comfort??


Every now and then we see couples roaming around madly in love with each other, claiming their love to be forever. But do we ever give a thought if it is a relationship of love or relationship of convenience?
Recently I met my cousin along with her fiance. While we were sitting at KFC, she asked her fiance to open the sachet of sauce for her. I gave her a perplexed look and she said, “Charu, this is love!”
But is it Love? Really? Or just comfort? To have someone open the packaged food for you, to spoon feed you just because your nails don’t get smudged with sauce; it is clearly a relation of convenience.
Another time I asked one of my friend to catch up someday and she told me now that she was married, she would only be able to come with her husband. And I was like why? I wondered if the married couples are physically tied to each other. In this era of Olas and Ubers where everything comes at your doorstep, why can’t she just take a cab? In my opinion, this is comfort to have someone drive for you instead of taking the extra effort of booking a cab, coordinating with driver regarding pick-up point and paying him.
This brings me to another question “Why do we, women make ourselves weak in a relationship? Why do we want someone else to help us?”
Our parents have made their best efforts in last 20-25 years to give us proper education and capability so that we can be strong enough to help ourselves. Despite all this, do we really need to be dependent on anyone for every small thing?
In this era of technology, when anything can be Googled and YouTube videos are available for every next thing, do we really need help? Can’t we find our solutions ourselves?
Once a guy suggested me to stay updated with current affairs by reading news, articles etc. With the intention of spending more quality time with him I asked him to share news updates with me on everyday basis. He replied “Why do you need me to share news update with you?  Why do you need anyone to do things for you when you can easily download any news app and start reading it? Why do u want to be dependent on me?”
It was then, it struck me that there is very fine line between seeking someone to spend time with you and to do things for you.
I completely understand the fact that the one who tries to make our life easy, help us in difficulties, and provide solutions to our problems can rule our heart very easily. We feel loved and supported which in turn makes our world like a fairyland. But does that mean we should keep seeking help, advice and support for every small thing from them just to stay in our comfort zone.
Is it what a partner there for? Aren’t they are supposed to empower us? To make us feel strong enough so that we can fight our own battles instead of going to them every time?
Which one is a healthy relationship where partners help each other grow or where partners spoon feed each other?
P.S: -  Instead of making your world a FAIRYLAND, make yourself STRONG enough to face any damn thing that comes your way!